Funny Joke about Denominations

by Steve Ray on August 3, 2011

This is an old joke by Emo Philips, once ranked as the funniest religious joke of all time:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Alan August 3, 2011 at 8:48 AM

In practice are Catholics any better? Liberal and ultra-right wing Catholics can’t stand being in the same room. At the grass roots level and in the universities Catholics squabble too.

STEVE RAY HERE: Never claimed Catholics all agree. Difference is we are all family and argue under one roof; Protestants on the other hand split off into innumerable sects.

Amanda March 4, 2012 at 7:45 PM

@STEVE RAY

Exactly! It is, as a part of proud Protestant law, that (italics) divorce solves the problem(end italics). Look at Protestant history: Let’s break from THE Church that was founded BY Christ and ON Peter, divorce It and create our own tradition. Oh, wait, but each person has his/her own interpretation of what things mean, so pretty soon there’s over 8,ooo denominations of the new religion.

@ Alan:

Yes, of COURSE Catholics argue. Religion aside, it’s human nature to be curious and to seek new interpretations, aka argue. But in practice, you ask? Yes also, Catholics are simply Catholics. Of THE Church of Jesus Christ. Not just some church of Christ, or East-Brethren-Bible-New-Life-Church-of-His-Covenant-Hall-revisited for that matter.
What Catholic Church do/have you attend(ed) where ‘Liberal and ultra-right wing Catholics can’t stand being in the same room’? As far as I’m concerned, that is their personal walk of Faith that they must work out. Remember to not base an entire Church on one person’s problems.

Leave a Comment

 

Previous post:

Next post: